Father's Day. We had a moment.

Father’s Day...and my dad and I had a moment that was amazing and unbelievably sad...all at the same time. 

To preface, Friday was the Father’s Day party at the Cottages, where dad is staying. So many people love him, so he had quite a few visitors that day, but he was restless and not interested in sitting down with us. In fact, he was getting a little agitated that we wanted him to. He wanted to walk and was doing this strange thing where he leans down and it seems as if his upper body goes limp and that he’ll pass out, then he comes to as you raise him up or touch his arm. To say it was difficult to see is an understatement. 

So, that being said, I wasn’t sure what to expect today. I walked in and found him in the front room pacing with his head down like normal…and like normal, I followed him around worrying like an old mother hen that he would hit his head (he can’t see where he’s going, because he has his head down) or that he would trip (it’s amazing the balance he has given the fact that he nearly trips about…once every few minutes). I suppose that should be a blessing, but I digress.

He finally sat down and I was able to give him his Father’s Day card. I read it to him and told him I loved him, and he began to cry. Eyes red, tears flowing, CRY. We locked eyes for a few seconds - long enough for me to see that the ‘real’ him is still in there and long enough to tell him I loved him so very much. He cried…I cried. I apologized (through tears) for making him cry and he smiled, grabbed and patted my arm to console ME. He was present for a moment and although it was fleeting, I’m thankful for it...emotional rollercoaster and all.

Ironically, this song was playing when I got into my car (Ignore my dirty screen. It’s a pet peeve, but my OCD is too tired to care right now). 

Big girls DO cry. In fact, I think big girls cry more than little girls.